(because it's less annoying to SM than talking back to the TV...)
Oprah, I hate to say this, but you look like you've put on a few. Great color on you, though. And you sound funny. Why are you talking that way? Like a Madonna-Brit-poser... or are you just trying to enunciate? Either way, you sound like you've got cramps or something.
Stupid, stupid opening with the reality TV hosts. SHUT UP and get off the stage. If you have "nothing", then quit talking about it. Shut up and push off.
Oh, how sexist, pulling off Heidi's clothes like that. But it's not like I didn't see it coming. Still, gimme a break. Dumb. But if you're going to have someone pull a sexist schtick like that, it may as well be William Shatner. He is sexist schtick personified.
Oooh, Tiny Fey. We are not worthy. LOVE that dress! Never thought of Tina Fey as having sex appeal. Well, she has smarts-sexy appeal, but she looks damned good in that dress. Guess she won't be doing any Palin impersonations. Too political. Too bad. Fingers crossed anyway. Amy Poehler... sorry you're leaving SNL after the elections, but you look great.
Jeremy Piven. Good line about "what if I just talked for 11 minutes... oh, that was the opening."
Commercial for Macy's showing all sorts of clips where they are mentioned in various movies and TV shows? Well done.
Back to Tom Bergeron (don't know how to spell his name) and Ryan Seacrest. Bleh... and they're talking about nothing again, a.k.a. Seinfeld
. Master of my domain! Julie Louis-Dreyfess. Nice dress? Hmm, not sure of the color. Love it in theory, not so much in reality. She kinda looks like a popsicle.
Jean Smart wins. Damn! She looks fantastic! Great dress, great figure. I remember her from Designing Women
days... boy, she has come a long way from that stereotype. Speech was too long, though.
Interesting dress, Heidi. It looks like it doesn't fit right. What would Michael and Nina say? There's her clover-shaped jewelry line. Way to advertise.
Ladies of Wisteria Lane. Ooooh. Fun looking at their dresses. Best supporting man... who's gonna get it? Who's gonna get it? I can't say that I watch any of these shows. Sad, very sad. Zeljko Ivanek? Nothing like having your name mispronounced on the Emmy's.
How to accept an Emmy. Great clips. Ricky Gervais... you funny!
"I could do anything. This is live. I'm nobody here. Gimme my Emmy."
Great deadpan, Steve Carell.
Nominees for best supporting actress -- two older women, two women of color and an Australian (as well as a Canadian). LOVE the diversity.
Jennifer Love -- you all grown up. Don't really like the bangs, though. Hayden -- you all grown up too! Yay, Colbert Report
! But I could definitely go a long, long time and live peacefully without ever seeing Stephen Colbert again in nothing more than boxers, without a shirt.
Does anyone else find Howie Mandel as annoying as I do? When he's "on", he's great. When he's not "on" -- oh the humanity!
Nice tribute by Steve Martin to Tommy Smothers. Very nice. Considering The Smothers Brother
s was on TV about 40 years ago, Tommy Smothers looks fantastic. I wonder how old he is? Quick google... he's 71. Well-deserved Tommy. Congrats.
A new dress for Heidi. Like the cut, not the print.
Josh Grobin sings us down memory lane. I didn't know the words to the theme song to the Andy Griffith Show
. I didn't even know it had words. Yay, Ed McMahon. Hope he got paid for that appearance so he can afford his rent to Donald Trump. That's gotta be the first time the can-can was performed to "Suicide is Painless". Kinda a strange combo. Good job, Josh. That was fun.
Oh gawd, Alec Baldwin looks old. Congrats Laura Linney. Didn't see the series, but I heard it was good. "Community organizers who helped form our country..." Ba-ha-ha-ha! Great line!!!
Sock it to me!
I actually don't remember Laugh-in
from when it was on. I was too young. But I have seen clips. But I'm guessing that no one under 35 will get any of the references or cameos. Ruth Buzzi doesn't look like she's aged at all. Too bad the bit wasn't very funny. Hey, notice that Jay Leno didn't get nominated? But yay, Jon Stewart. I heart Jon Stewart. He made that show. 27 nominations to date? Wow. Jon is yummy.
Another dress for Heidi. Very Mrs. Roper. And Christian "Fierce" Soriano designed some of the Emmy girls' dresses? Let's see 'em!
Yay Tina for winning the writing Emmy. You rock x 30 (okay, dumb joke). She still looks fabulous in that dress.
So I have a question. Shouldn't it be the "Emmies" rather than the "Emmys"? Or is it the "Emmy's"? And if it's a possessive, then it just doesn't make sense. I'm confused.
Oh, the West Wing
. That was so much fun to watch... ah, the good ol' days. As one conservative wrote "soft porn for liberals"... oh yea, bring it on!
Christina Applegate looks like a Christmas present. Don't really like the dress. Kinda like a sari, but not. She also looks much older. Hey, way to bump into the cameraperson on your way up to the stage, Paula Weinstein, award-accepter for Recount
Lawrence Fishburne's suit is tomato-reddish orange with stripes? It totally blends into the background. Whodda thunk that a pinstriped tomato-reddish orange suit would ever blend into any background?
Ooooh, Sandra, LOVE the dress! Love the line about her parents, who "...couldn't actually be prouder, unless I actually was a doctor."
Kathy Griffin... looks terrible. The hair looks like a bad wig. And when Don Rickles looks better than you, that's saying something. But the "Get up!" demand was cute. Nice tribute.
6th consecutive win for reality show by The Amazing Race
? Wow. I'm stunned. I had no idea that the category had been around that long.
Ha! Tom Hanks called Sally Field "Momma." Ha!
What is this "National Stay at Home Week"? Is it when all the shows will be premiering? 'Cuz it doesn't take much for me to get my couch-potato on...
Another dress for Heidi. Nice color. Hey, notice that tattoo on her arm? Never saw that on Project Runway
... hmmm... Too sexy for Bravo?
Colbert called it. Don Rickles won for best variety show. First, Barry Manilow. Then Tony Bennett. And now, Don Rickles. Is this the homage award?
Oooh, Kate Walsh is a hottie. How is it possible to have such a teeny, tiny waist? Very nice, classy dress. She looks amazing. So does Cynthia Nixon. That dress has a great shape, but she looks so pale in it. Maybe it's the toned-down hair color when I'm so used to the SATC
Miss America Ferrara and Miss America, Vanessa Williams on stage together. Fun.
Yay Glenn for her win. Is it me, but doesn't she look a little bit like Felicity Huffman? Something in the mouth...
The "In Memoriam" tribute was, as always, a bitter-sweet reminder of those who will be forever preserved on film and who are no longer with us. But why did they list George Carlin twice? Private joke, tribute or serious oversight by the producers?
Who is Bryan Cranston? I guess I don't watch enough TV, contrary to popular belief...
Craig Ferguson. Ha! But Brooke sure did look purty. And YAY Tina Fey again! Not only writing but acting too. She just went on about how she loves being a writer. So I'm wondering how the actors who didn't win in this category are feeling, having lost to a woman who is clearly more proud to be a writer than actor? Great line thanking her parents for raising her to have confidence disproportionate with her looks and talent. Very nice.
Another dress on Heidi. Love the skirt and cut but not so much the color combo. Yellow and gray? Um, no.
(SM has been asleep for at least 45 minutes now...)
Jeff Probst -- so much for being short, knowing the show is running long because of your babble. Babble on and on... No, the "nothing" bit didn't work. Jimmy was right.
Mary Tyler Moore. How much plastic surgery have you had? Too skinny.
Now Betty White... that's what you are supposed to look like when you're 60+ years old. She looks like a real person. MTM looks plastic. And did I say too skinny? Yeah, too skinny.
Didya' see Tina Fey pull her notes out of her cleavage?
Tom Selleck. I can't help but think NRA when I look at you. But you do fill out a tuxedo well. So Mad Men
is the winner. Glad I'm tivoing it. Maybe I should start watching the shows I've recorded?
Whew, they got the show in under the wire. Barely. 10:59 at the "good night". Yeah, I'm guessing they won't let anyone go unscripted like that again. No one wants to hear reality show hosts blathering. We want to look at the dresses...
And there ya' have it. My stream of consciousness as I watched TV. If you're still conscious and reading this mighty babble.