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  • Monday, September 03, 2007

    Magnetic meme!

    I haven't done a meme in a while, so I thought it was about time. I'm not going to tag anyone because, frankly, I don't know how many folks still read this blog on a regular or even semi-regular basis. However, I'd encourage anyone who is so inclined to meme-on brothers and sisters -- meme on! And send me a tag-back to let me know you've done it.

    Magnetic meme -- or what's on your fridge? You don't need to list them all, just the most prominent stuff. Here's mine in random order.
    1. certificate of achievement, awarded to Gidget on her completion of a "basic dog manners" obedience course
    2. Rutgers University magnet
    3. card of top ten best lawyer jokes* (which are kinda funny actually... and the card was given to my a law school friend)
    4. coupons for Giant (expired, not surprisingly)
    5. postcard from SM's friend who was visiting Tofino, BC
    6. list of "house projects and jobs" -- it's very long, and while many things have been crossed off, many, many more remain
    7. "Happy Birthday" drawing for SM from his niece or nephew
    8. CNN word magnets (like the haiku magnets but with CNN-esque words)
    9. various and sundry other magnets from places like Ikea, the Washington Post, Amazon.com, Old Navy, Access Group (student loan provider), GW Health program, one of my credit unions, Hawai`i, Fanny Mae, APPEAL, an old dentist, a quote magnet**, etc.
    And that's just the front!

    Here's the side:
    10. fast food delivery coupons
    11. list of vocabulary words for dogs (i.e., commands to use for consistency)
    12. Chinese symbol magnets (again, like the haiku magnets but since I can't compose a sentence in Chinese, they're there either to just look cool or to clutter the place)
    13. more various and sundry magnets including some from political campaigns, Starbucks, the Washington Animal Rescue League (where we got Gidget), Hawai`i, Old Navy, etc...
    Usually, I have a ton of pictures on the fridge -- mostly friends' kids -- and cartoons and other such pithy and entertaining humor. Sadly, none of these things have made it out of a "junk" box after the move.

    * The jokes:
    1. What's the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead snake in the road? The dead snake has skid marks in front of it.
    2. Why don't lawyers have hemorrhoids? Because they're perfect assholes.
    3. What is a criminal lawyer? Redundant.
    4. Why don't lawyers get eaten by sharks? Professional courtesy.
    5. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in and one to sue the manufacturer.
    6. What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer? A rooster clucks defiance. (I admit to having laughed at this one.)
    7. What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue. (You knew that was coming...! Coulda also asked "What's a lawyer's favorite dessert? Tortes!")
    8. Why can't lawyers be circumcised? Because there's no end to those pricks.
    9. What do you call a feamle lawyer who moonlights as a hooker? A prostituting attorney.
    10. What's the difference between a lawyer and a hooker? At least the hooker will kiss you while you're being f*ucked.

    **And now for something completely different: the "inspirational quote" magnet, which I must have gotten as a gift. It reads:

    live with intention.
    walk to the edge.
    listen hard.
    practice wellness.
    play with abandon.
    choose with no regret.
    continue to learn.
    appreciate your friends.
    do what you love.
    live as if this is all there is.
    -- mary anne radmacher

    Now, who do you think knows me better -- the person who gave me the lawyer joke card or the one who gave me the inspirational quote?


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