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  • Wednesday, February 21, 2007

    "How I killed 20 minutes on a slow workday"

    or "That hasn't happened to me since junior high school...!"

    Caution -- TMI alert. Here's another installment of "things you could have lived without knowing about She says".

    I warned ya'. Seriously.

    Today has been deadly slow. Not much work; not much jabbering with co-workers; lots of surfing the internet.

    Not that that has anything whatsoever to do with how I killed 20 minutes.

    It was in the bathroom.

    No, not that. But not too far off. Literally.

    I went to the bathroom and realized I had a "leak". Yes, I have my period, and I leaked. You know what I mean. Almost every woman has had this experience (and Denise, I promise you that you aren't missing out on this one). Leaked in a way that I haven't done since junior high school... meaning, through my pants and prominently displayed. On the front.

    (I warned ya'.)

    My red badge of courage. My scarlet letter (that would be "O"). Crimson tide. You get the picture.

    So what to do? I can't walk around the office with this blot on my record. Or my pants. Fortunately for me, I am wearing washable (= cheap) pants. Unfortunately, they are grey, so ministrations and soap are definitely required.

    What else could I do? So I dropped my drawers in the handicapped stall in the bathroom and proceeded to work to get the red out. Out damned spot. Out!

    I spent a good 20 minutes bent over my pants (which for some reason, I didn't take off, so I had them gathered around my knees and worked on them standing up). Rather than take them to the sink, I used paper towels to blot and scrub and blot some more. Luckily for me, no one came in to use that bathroom. I think I was partially visible through the space at the side of the door. Also, I was able to blot most of the water out of my pants so they are mostly dry, and I didn't end up with a large wet spot.

    Yes. Down there. That would have been just trading in one issue for another.

    Although I now see that I missed a bit, I was able to get out most of it such that I can now appear in public without being overly concerned about the stain on my career. But now I've got a soggy crotch.

    Yes, indeed. I have a soggy crotch.

    It ain't all that easy being a woman sometimes.

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