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  • Friday, August 11, 2006

    Nightmare scenario for every woman with long hair

    But it just happened to me.

    So, I'm driving home from the store with my windows and moonroof open to get a breeze when I feel a tickle at the collar of my shirt. Thinking it's just a stray hair fallen down my shirt and into my cleavage, I brush at it to push it away. Because I have long hair, 99 times out of 100, that odd tickle on my neck or shoulder or whatever is exactly that -- a stray hair.

    Well, to my horror, I hear a buzzing sound and when I look down (while driving), I see a yellowjacket hovering in between my shirt and my boobs.

    Eeks. Still driving, I grab at my shirt, pulling it out away from my body and trying to get the yellowjacket out of my shirt and out of the car. More buzzing and then silence, so I thought it flew out the window.

    All was quiet, but then I felt something itchy on my stomach. So I went to scratch it (still driving). To my utter horror and digust, I felt a small lump under my shirt. Yes, the yellowjacket, instead of flying out of my cleavage, flew down it. Farther into my shirt. And it stung me on the stomach.

    So now I'm experiencing an intense feeling of "ick, ick, get it away". I flip up my shirt, fully exposing my midriff (and half my bra) to ensure that the damned thing is gone. The folks in the SUV next to me got more than an eye-full. But I had thought it was gone before, so I start pulling at my shirt and waving it around and everything -- while still driving -- in the vain hope of seeing the yellowjacket fly out. But no. No such confirmation or closure on this little incident.

    So I get home and once I'm inside I pull off all my clothes to make sure that nothing is still crawling on me -- and then immediately indulge in therapeutic chocolate.

    Now every tickle I feel has me paranoid. But I think the yellowjacket is gone. All but his sting. And the corresponding welt.

    Good thing I'm not allergic. But ick, ick!

    Ah, the dangers inherent in having long hair. Sort of.

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