Conscious effort
I can be a whiner sometimes... usually to myself rather than those around me, and I have a tendency to be over-critical (again, of myself rather than those around me): I'm fat; I'm lazy; I shoulda...coulda... shit, didn't.
You get the idea.
So, a while ago, I decided to make a conscious effort to counter this propensity towards negativity with three daily (I'd say "affirmations" if I were religious, but I'm not) acts of positivity:
1. At least once a day, I try to give a random stranger a compliment. I am usually rewarded with a smile, and it always makes me feel better. I learned this on one particularly ugly day. I was travelling on my own in Guatemala and had had several obnoxiously negative experiences in a row and was really looking forward to leaving that city and moving -- literally and figuratively -- past it all. But I realized that the bad luck was just that -- bad luck -- and that rather than permanently associate feelings of "grrr" with that city, that I should do something to turn it around. So I did by offering a random act of kindness to a stranger. It made me feel better generally, and I felt better about my experience in that city, thus saving my memories from being marred with negativity.
2. I always ask a friend what his "happy" thing is for the day -- forcing both of us to reflect, not on the stress or annoyances of the day, but on why it was a good day. Some days are harder than others to find our "happy things" but it's always worth the effort to reflect... and it usually serves to focus us on the positive.
3. Whenever I get down on myself -- usually about my physical appearance (hey, I'm a chick after all) -- I have to counter my negative comments with positive ones about myself. E.g., I would volley "I'm fat" with "I have great legs" or something like that. It's my own psychological warfare on my tendency to be hypercritical of myself. I don't always remember to do this, but I'm getting better.
I know... what a sap, eh?
You get the idea.
So, a while ago, I decided to make a conscious effort to counter this propensity towards negativity with three daily (I'd say "affirmations" if I were religious, but I'm not) acts of positivity:
1. At least once a day, I try to give a random stranger a compliment. I am usually rewarded with a smile, and it always makes me feel better. I learned this on one particularly ugly day. I was travelling on my own in Guatemala and had had several obnoxiously negative experiences in a row and was really looking forward to leaving that city and moving -- literally and figuratively -- past it all. But I realized that the bad luck was just that -- bad luck -- and that rather than permanently associate feelings of "grrr" with that city, that I should do something to turn it around. So I did by offering a random act of kindness to a stranger. It made me feel better generally, and I felt better about my experience in that city, thus saving my memories from being marred with negativity.
2. I always ask a friend what his "happy" thing is for the day -- forcing both of us to reflect, not on the stress or annoyances of the day, but on why it was a good day. Some days are harder than others to find our "happy things" but it's always worth the effort to reflect... and it usually serves to focus us on the positive.
3. Whenever I get down on myself -- usually about my physical appearance (hey, I'm a chick after all) -- I have to counter my negative comments with positive ones about myself. E.g., I would volley "I'm fat" with "I have great legs" or something like that. It's my own psychological warfare on my tendency to be hypercritical of myself. I don't always remember to do this, but I'm getting better.
I know... what a sap, eh?
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